In Loving Memory...

Duane "Dewey" Garringer
As some of you know I received some terrible news last week, my Father died on Christmas morning. Unfortunately we had been estranged for some time, though I had in the past tried to keep in touch, but due to frequent moves and life in general, we lost touch. Recently I reconnected with my cousin and step sister and through them hope that my love and good wishes made it to him in time. I don't really know what to say here, I just have so many thoughts and regrets that I need to get them off my chest. I miss him terribly and have all my life. I wish now more than ever that I had been more proactive in getting back in touch, but we think we have all the time in the world. Now more than ever I was excited to reconnect as I wanted my son to meet and know his grandfather and for me to get to know him again also. Now that will never happen. All I can hope for is some photos and momentos to remember him by, as well as stories told by my family that was around him daily. They have been so loving and supportive and understanding of the whole situation.
It is hard being a child of a divorce to deal with all the hurt and anger that a divorce brings. I can't blame my Mom or Dad, they did what they did and it is over. I guess I can't even blame myself as both of us are guilty of being somewhat lazy.... or at least procrastinators.... and did nothing to change things... I guess once I got so far away that part of my life seemed so distant. I know this has taught me a valuable lesson about living every day like it is my last. And I fully intend to make sure my son knows how much I love him and that I am there for him when he needs me, growing up and later in life. I only wish he could have met his grandfather and am thankful that so many others have had him in their lives and can tell me and David all about him, maybe I can still be close to him in some way.
I feel like he was stolen from me not once, but twice now and I just hope that everyone who is lucky enough to have had him in their lives realize just how lucky they are. Both me and my brother did without, never asked him for anything, and missed out on having a wonderful man in our lives daily. It saddens me to think maybe I could have changed that, though nothing could change when he died, David will never meet him, but I could at least be the one to pass on his love and memories first hand.
I do have some of my own memories, I can remember the song we used to sing together, the sound of his voice, his face, the way his lips were always wet when he kissed me and how wonderful it felt to know he loved me.
I love you dad, and miss you always.